In Memory of Anne Couch

September 21, 2009

I should be going south of here to honor a friend’s passing but I am not going to be able to make it for a whole slew of reasons that aren’t a good enough reason to not be going. But I am not going to be able to make it. So I wanted to take a moment and share with you all what I would have shared to the family of Anne Couch had I been there.

I remember being a 23 year old kid and moving 4 hours south from my home to a small town to be a youth pastor at one of the local Methodist churches. I had never been “in charge” before in my life and I remember being scared, confused, lonely and trying to sort it all out. But in the midst of all that, God was gracious to me and gave me the friendship of Jack and Anne Couch.

Jack and Anne Couch were the bedrock of the youth ministry of the church I was serving. Basically from the time they had moved into town in the late seventies to the time I was there in the late 1990s and early 2000s, Jack and Anne had been shepherds of young people. It came natural to them and it was a deeply ingrained part of their character. Jack and Anne loved kids because they remembered what it was like to be kids and to be loved by caring adults. And it was that faith and call that made it so that when I came to their church and their town that they adopted me. The Couch family basically became my family there in Waycross, along with a few other “uncles” and “aunts.” I was loved for no good reason and I was loved deeper than I ever truly deserved.

I explained it recently to a friend this way- I would not be doing what I am doing today had I not had the friendship, love and encouragement of Jack and Anne at my first church. They let me make mistakes but not crash too low. They let me succeed but helped keep my ego in check. In short, they were what you wanted in true friends. I regret that I have let that friendship lapse and I regret it even more since hearing about the accident that took Anne’s life this past Saturday. The world is a worse place for it.

Here is what we will all miss about Anne Couch:

Her belief in prayer. I was a rookie youth director who thought much of my life and ministry was made and crafted out of my own doing. Anne was an example to remind me that the foundation of all ministry is seeking God and petitioning him. Every Monday night Anne and family invited me over for dinner and then a group of others would come and we would talk about life and pray. I took it for granted and I am disappointed to say that I have never had a group like that since. It did my heart good to know that the group was still meeting as soon as a year ago and I kept thinking I may get a wild urge to run down there and pray with them again. And it wasn’t just corporate prayer. Anne had a sheet of paper in her Bible always. And it was covered with her notes of things that she was praying for. She is the first person I ever saw who took prayer so seriously and I loved the way she always would help us connect the dots to the things we prayed for and the things we saw God do.

Her faith. She truly loved people. The guestbook on her obituary page is full of the tales of people whose lives were touched by Anne. Some were students in that youth ministry. Some were students she served by being a math teacher for 20+ years. Some were neighbors and people from the community. Anne Couch’s faith spoke loudly in just how she loved people. (And believe me, teaching for 20+ years, she knew and had some students that were hard to love! Regardless, it was amazing how many people her faith touched.

Her faithful service. I remember when I got this crazy notion to start a 6:30 AM Bible Study. Nearly everyone thought I was a loon. But Anne and Jack faithfully partnered with me in that study for a couple years, even going to pick up kids at some points. Anne always was willing to help out and do whatever it took. A lot of how I try to serve in other areas of the church is because I remember Anne’s spirit and her partnership in ministry.

Her love of her family. This one is the most important one, both then and now. I will never forget watching how she loved her family. She was proud of the men that Joshua, Jason and Justin had become. She loved to talk about her grandchildren; I remember her being deeply moved one night praying before the first one was born, asking for God to bless her even then. And she loved and loves Jack. I have never seen someone who loved her husband and was committed to him as Anne was to Jack. Their marriage and relationship is one of the things that make them the kind of people that people look up to. I’d do well if I ever marry to marry someone who will love me half as well as Anne loves Jack.

It is a sorrow filled time for those who called Anne “friend.” It hurts in feeling that she was robbed from us too soon, that there was more she had left to offer the world and that we would all be better for it. But I think about how she is in the place that she was made for, that all of our hearts long for. She is with Jesus, the one who gave her every gift she needed in her time here. And I have no doubt when my time has come, she will be there, cheering me on then just as much as she did when we were partners in ministry.

Rest in peace, Anne. You were loved well and you loved well, and I don’t think there is much better that we could say than that!

Posted in General Stuff